At the festival

At the festival

At the festival I have a back pain because of the uncomfortable bed with the too big pillow.

At the festival I work in rooms that smell of years of smoking.

At the festival I stand outside of the theatre because my friends are smoking.

At the festival I stand outside of the theatre because the one who has the key is not here.

At the festival I am always hungry at the wrong moment.

At the festival Shir says that a performance had as little reason for ending as it had for starting.

At the festival I go around looking for food.

At the festival I think about how I shouldn’t sit so much cross-legged since I have heard that it is bad for the blood circulation.

At the festival Igor tells us that the first time he went to his psychiatrist, the psychiatrist asked him what his opinion about Marina Abramović is.

At the festival I didn’t pay my own flight ticket, accommodation or performance ticket.

At the festival I eat Shopska salad.

At the festival I find the swimming pool and I go swimming. The woman behind the desk tries to teach me Serbian through repeating the word for “300 dinars”, “receipt” and “thank you” several times. I get changed in a small cubicle, leave my belongings to the young woman in the wardrobe, get a metal plate with a number on attached to a string. Then I get lost trying to find where the showers are and when I find them there are only men in the shower so I don’t know if I can go in or not. I wait until a middle age woman in bikini appears and goes into the shower until I shower too.

At the festival I look Swedish because I have a new outfit on every day and still I haven’t used all the clothes in my suitcase.

At the festival the festival centre is used as a black box, a white cube, a cinema, a work place, a rehearsal space, our space for arranging public discussions, an office for the organisation, an office for another organisation, a meeting point, a dance studio, a lecture hall, a corridor.

At the festival there is no toilet paper.

At the festival my generalisations gets questioned.

At the festival the festival director is happy with your contribution.

At the festival we were supposed to have a Skype meeting with an academic from Macedonia that teaches writing but at some point it was postponed until Amsterdam. I wonder where I was when this was decided. I am left with a feeling of not being where it happens.

At the festival I thought we were going to meet at 12.

At the festival Kristóf goes to his room for no appearant reason.

At the festival I sit at a café and write. I feel guilty for not buying more than I do but on the other hand I think about that I will never go back to this café ever again.

At the festival I can only write this text with references that I recognize. There is so much that passes me by.

At the festival the festival map is not enough detailed for me to find the way.

At the festival Shir asks me what Mårten Spångberg would say about this.

At the festival I copy the style from a book by Joe Brainard.

At the festival we have already read at text by Tim Etchells called “Alphabet of festivals”. I think it is quite good, but it is not my text.

At the festival I look at the friends of the performer. They smile during the performance.

At the festival I hear that some people are at some other bar and I think that that bar is probably a bit better than the one that I am at right now.

At the festival I meet performers gazes and they look at me differently on stage and off stage.

At the festival I talk more about the performances than with the performers.

At the festival two dancers get naked. It is nothing special, but every time the genitals comes out it causes a particular ambience in the audience.

At the festival the festival director is ill.

At the festival the internet is slow.

At the festival I am from the West.

At the festival I book a flight ticket.

At the festival I sleep next to Livia, trying not to touch her.

At the festival I sleep next to Shir, nervous about farting in my sleep.

At the festival two dancers move in the same way to an electronic soundscape. I have a feeling I have seen this performance before.

At the festival two performers writes a political message on a wall.

At the festival there are costumes and then there are costumes that are supposed not to look like costumes. I usually prefer the first kind..

At the festival I have a stomach ache for eating too irregularly.

At the festival Ash is always at the toilet when we are about to leave.

At the festival I have dry eyes because of the smoke and the swimming pool.

At the festival I get a cotton bag. I have never been to a festival where I did not get a cotton bag.

At the festival I take sexy pictures of my tits to send to my boyfriend when Shir is in the bathroom taking sexy pictures of her ass to send to her boyfriend. She shows me her picture, I don’t even tell her about my own pictures.

At the festival I forgot to bring toothpaste. So the first day I just steal some, thinking I will buy the next day, but then I always forget and I just steal for the whole period.

At the festival I get annoyed when Kristóf thinks that I am cute when I wear a skirt.

At the festival I try to look feminine and powerful and intellectual at the same time because I want to impress someone (anyone).

At the festival I talk too much without having enough things to say.

At the festival I fantasize about my partner suddenly coming in through the door of the theatre, and how I would sneak out from the show and we would kiss, and how I would normally never do that.

At the festival I ask for the code to the wi-fi.

At the festival hostel a man gives me coffee for free and asks me where I am from. Then he starts to talk about Zlatan Ibrahimovic and another Swedish football player that I can not remember the name of.

At the festival I eat the only vegetarian option on the menu.

At the festival I am relieved about the fact that no one around me seem to have eating disorders.

At the festival the floor is concrete.

At the festival I arrive on an air plane from Sweden, noticing how I depart from rain and land in rain, depart from west and land in east, depart from a festival with expensive filter coffee and online streaming and arrive at a festival with nescafé and a sound recorder.

At the festival Kristóf asks us if in our country we drink beer from a plate.

At the festival I go home early to watch a documentary about The death of Yugoslavia and masturbate.

At the festival I ask why we talk about Yugoslavia. Where I come from, to say Yugoslavia is a sign of not knowing the names of the countries in the region. It is considered ignorant and slightly racist.

At the festival I find the young dancers in the audience sexy. I think about how many old men are thinking the same right now.

At the festival Ida says something that I don’t understand and I think that she thinks that I am pretending not to understand in order to avoid the question.

At the festival Shir asks me about what Ana asked me about “practice”.

At the festival I don’t have enough clean underwear and so I turn them inside out.

At the festival I recognize the parliament building from the documentary about Yugoslavia that I saw the day before. It gives me a feeling of having learned something.

At the festival there was a demonstration outside of the parliament that I didn’t know about.

At the festival I try to explain why I understand a dance performance by Angela Kecinski as an attempt to present a transformation from ordinary movement to dance.

At the festival there are no visiting curators. Or they just don’t look like the curators I have seen.

At the festival Ana asks me if there is no organised hang-out between the critics and the artists and I reply by asking if she wants to join us for dinner and drinks tonight. She says that she is going home tonight.

At the festival I look at Ash’s tits over dinner and hope that she didn’t notice.

At the festival Shir asks me what Mårten would say about this.

At the festival there are two photographers from Germany that takes pictures of our public conversation. Ida asks one of them “Are you taking pictures of my notes?” and she answers “No”, but I suspect she actually was. Later, I get to know that they are payed by the European network.

At the festival some choreographers are “Frisch Eingetroffen”, which means “Just Arrived”, while others are just choreographers.

At the festival there are no drink tickets, no festival bar, no curators, no welcome package, no free champagne, no band, no entrance fees, no VIP bands, no pick-up, no dance classes, no workshops.

At the festival there are cotton bags.

At the festival Shir asks for the code to the wi-fi.

At the festival Ida tells me that her grandparents were communists.

At the festival Shir tells me that her brother is a schizophrenic. Then she asks me if I don’t have anyone with psychological problems in my family.

At the festival I tell Ana, Livia and Shir that I don’t think I am the best suited to be in the jury for the next years program. They seem to agree.

At the festival I write two applications.

At the festival I wake up at 4.20 to go to the airport.

At the festival I lend 2000 dinars from Ana.

At the festival I give 300 dinars to Ana.

At the festival I am too tired to give feedback to Zeina, although I think she might be interested and I feel like it is my job.

At the festival Shir describes giving artistic feedback as a social service.

At the festival I learn to speak slower and listen more carefully.

At the festival Ana says that she doesn’t understand what this performance is trying to do. I am thinking that none of us do and that our work seem to be to try to figure it out.

At the festival the piece is 10 minutes long because the creator ran out of money.

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At the festival the piece is 10 minutes long because it was created for a competition for choreographic miniatures, where it won second price.

At the festival the smoke machine runs out of steam.

At the festival there is too much salt in the fooddddd. It makes me miss my best friend who always adds salt to any dish before she eats it.

At the festival I am a feminist.

At the festival I become a representative of the western European dance scene every time that I try to describe the dance world as I know it.

At the festival there is a price called Dalija Acin, rewarded to the biggest brain drain of the region.

At the festival Ana makes a protest through waiting downstairs until the price ceremony is over.

At the festival the taxi is late.

At the festival the taxi gets lost, trying to find the venue.

At the festival Zeina tells me that she sees no difference between the east and the west of Europe when you compare them to Lebanon. She tells me that in Beirut, people have started to lit fire on garbage with the help of rat poison. She is starting a project where she is looking for people that have a desire for dance.

At the festival Shir says that she doesn’t like to touch men’s asses.

At the festival one dancer has a hole in her shirt and I wonder if it is on purpose.

At the festival I fill in my unemployment cards online.

At the festival I am younger than the festival director but older than the performers.

At the festival Ash is always at the toilet when we are about to leave.

At the festival I leave with an air plane because I have a Swedish passport.